November 7, 2008 – 8:00 AM.

Right now Kevin and I are eating breakfast on the outside of Thae Pae Gate. I am having eggs and toast and french fries and Kevin is having the spicy tomato soup with mushrooms, tomatoes, roots and bugs.


Yesterday we had a good time. I ate a lot of good food around bugs. Actually the food in Thailand is really good in general but sometimes weird. For example, certain western dishes that you order because at that moment you need something familiar and not totally surprising are just not quite right. We were a little tired of this mystery point-at-something-on-the-menu ordering so we went to an Italian place for some good old fashioned know-what-you’re-getting pizza but when we the pizza came it was made with bread that sort of resembled naan bread. I guess we should go New York if we want New York style pizza. I'm just saying though, and I’m down with whatever and it didn’t taste bad, it just wasn't... quite... right. However, if you want some great authentic Thai food the street carts will cook you tasty pad thai for a couple bucks. These are the places to go if you have a man stomach.

Our itinerary from yesterday is as follows. We woke up and drove our car to bum phuck to see another wat. I thought we were going to see some ancient ruins but they were actually just an ancient city called Lamphun. It looked pretty much like a normal city but I guess it had been there for awhile. Driving through the countryside was very nice. On the way back we saw a huge cloud of smoke from a fire and thought that while we were gone Chiang Mai had been attacked by bombers or something but when we got closer we found that it was not as bad as it looked, just a run of the mill warehouse fire or something.


Back in Chiang Mai we returned the car and walked around the inner moat area of the town. I bought some fruit. Mango, a rose apple and bananas. Kevin isn't fully into the street carts yet but I got him to eat at a street cart type restaurant run by a pleasant old couple. The stuff that the old man made for us in his open air cart was kind of like chicken soup, cost only about 75 cents American and tasted good.

After that we went to some more wats. We saw a good one that was really old and was half collapsed from an earthquake.

Then we did some things that I don’t remember and got ready to go to Thai kick boxing. It was cool even though in such a small city as Chiang Mai the kids are all under 18 and weigh like 100 pounds. I guess when you get good you move on to bigger fights in Bangkok.





When the boxing matches were over we went to the Night Bazaar and looked (I swear just looked) at some ladies of the night which I guess is considered to be a normal profession here. Still weird though. Like I said, just looking, come on it's an authentic Thai experience!, even though we did try to get a ping pong show but had no luck. We were however happily surprised with the dart show.

This afternoon we are flying south to Koh Samui.

P.S. Everywhere you go in Thailand you will be eating very close to some type of animal. Lots of bugs around and don’t be surprised if a dog comes and sits in the chair next to you during dinner.


Picture above is of the interesting art choices at the kick boxing arena. Not bad.

November 8, 2008 – 8:50 AM – Marine Hotel Restaurant, Koh Samui.

Right now Kevin and I are waiting for breakfast in our hotel restaurant. It is our second day in the town of Chaweng on the island of Samui.

Yesterday we caught a plane out of Chiang Mai and flew two hours down here to an airport on the island. I caught a head cold somehow the night before and when the plane started to descend to land my ears filled up with whatever and really started to hurt. They are still plugged up.

I am not a beach person at all and my plugged left ear that doesn’t allow me to hear on my left side is really making it hard for me to communicate with anyone especially when it is already hard because of the language barrier. Pretty much def on the left side and I feel helpless because Kevin has to translate any conversation that I have with any Thai people. I am still trying to have a good time though and am enjoying the beach and stuff.

Here is what we did yesterday. As I said, got in by plane to an airport that had absolutely no walls. Just a roof with open sides because when it is warm year round you don’t need walls. It was really nice and tropical looking. We caught a cab to our hotel, checked in and realized that the place was kind of a shit hole especially being that it cost the exact same price that we paid at the Mini Cost in Chiang Mai, which was a really nice place. It doesn’t have hot water and is a little dirty. It’s not all that bad though for 12 dollars each a night and it has a really nice porch to sit on and watch it rain and look at weird birds. Oh yeah, it is raining and everything is soaking wet but still hot and even more humid. With the rain added to the humidity you are constantly wet.

I forgot to mention that we met some girls from Tahoe as we got off the plane at the Koh Samui airport. Mine was a super hot blond, about a 9.5 out of 10 on the scale and Kevin's was a fatty about 300 pounds on the scale.

After we checked into our room we walked down the white sand beaches, ate some lunch at one of the nicer resort style hotels here and then strolled down the main street of town. Kevin and I figure that Koh Samui is like Hawaii or Cabo for Europeans. This place is full of European tourists and all of the Thais that live or work on the island are pretty much here solely to make money off of tourism. A fat European dude in a banana hammock actually just walked by on the beach moments ago. When you walk downtown you are harangued by people trying to sell you things, especially suits.

Anyways, we pretty much just sat around drinking a few beers at the bar/restaurant of our hotel for the remainder of the night last night. Brewskis is all there really is to do here as far as I can tell and that is all good with me.

Today we are going to rent a car and drive around the island.

I forgot to mention that last night as we were walking down the beach we found a large green praying mantis on the sand. It was pretty cool. It was also at this point that we realized that Chaweng is operating at about three percent of its true carrying capacity. It’s strange because all along the beach for miles there are about 500 restaurants and relatively big hotels and clubs. They are all open for business but all mostly empty. It is really trippy, a huge empty beach and just us. We are thinking that because this is the rainiest month in the south of Thailand it must be the off-season. Koh Samui is probably insane during peak months.

Another thing that we are noticing is that our alcohol tolerance is getting pretty huge. We are animals. I’m done.

November 9, 2008– 6:30 PM – Marine Restaurant again.

Today was a pretty awesome day. We rented a car and drove around the Island of Samui. We got A 4x4 Suzuki Samurai and mobbed south. This time I decided to drive because the car is stick and I drive stick more than Kevin in SF so I figured it would be a good idea. A small problem was that the gear shifter is on your left hand side because you drive on the right side of the car. Another problem was that it was completely pouring rain.

Because of said rain the roads were flooded with about half a foot of water and when you splashed though it it would completely cover your windshield until the crappy wipers could clear your vision. Not good to be driving blind on the left side of a very narrow and flooded road with dump trucks heading at you.


We splashed our way around Koh Samui, did some back road touring, looked at a deserted beach, saw a water buffalo in a coconut orchard and then parked to walk down a jungle trail to a water fall that we never actually made it to because we got too wet and Kevin was having self created 'Nam flashbacks.

After a couple hours of driving we had made it almost completely around the small island in a clockwise circle. In the town of Na Thon we stopped to look at our map for a road that went into the mountains but couldn’t find it. Instead we took an alternate route up a mountain road farther around the island. The road was paved but laughably steep and our Samurai didn’t have enough power to get up the road. It died on the steepest part so I put it into four-low and we crawled higher and higher.

A few hundred feet up the road a toll guy told us that the road was closed because of the heavy rains so we went ahead to find a place to turn around and came to a part of the road that had death written all over it and was so steep we almost shit ourselves. Originally we had intended to sneak around the toll guy and forge ahead but after seeing how steep the road was we turned around. Kevin read that a lot of jeeps flip over in Samui and people die.

Going back down was pretty hairy as well but we made it slow and steady. Getting back to the place we rented the car from was another adventure. It was nearly impossible to tell where we were or what road to turn on because of the complete crap map we had. Crap maps are standard issue in Thailand but they're free so hey. Koh Samui has the worst. We did eventually make it back though.

So… We are staying one more night at a different and a little nicer hotel next door to our old one but will still be hanging out at the same bar at the old hotel with our people who work there. Headed out by ferry to the mainland and then BKK tomorrow.

Tonight we are going to hit the Reggae Bar and the Green Tortoise or something like that

November 10, 2008 – 11:20 AM – The second hotel in Koh Samui.

Just relaxing now in our room waiting for a cab to pick us up and take us to the ferry. We are heading back to Bangkok.

Last night was a fun night. Walked down the main street looking for some bars that we had heard about. I wanted to go to the Reggae Pub because it just sounded awesome. On the way to the pub Kevin saw a painting that he liked of the two old men from the Muppet Show. The Critics or something like that is what they're called. The painting dealer wanted 2,400 baht for it, Kevin offered him 1,000. No deal. I think the guy was probably insulted for being offered less than half. I have to pack my bags up now and will finish writing on the ferry.

2:00 PM – Ferry between Ko Samui and Surat Thani.

Kevin and I have hopped aboard the Ferry. It is about 75 feet long and holds about 150 people.

Anyways, I really need to write about last night. About that “original art” for 2,400 baht that Kevin wanted… well, two stores down they had the exact same painting for 1,400. Kevin really wanted it but didn’t get it.

We kept walking and walking looking for the Reggae Pub and eventually saw a sign that pointed us in the right direction. The street that led up to the pub was completely lined with about fifty brothels and as we walked down it every single one of the 500 girls working the street tried to catch our attention. I would like to say that they were attracted to us because we were so handsome and radiated charm but I think they just wanted our money.

As we made it though the girls we came to the pub. It was a huge place and was constructed to hold about 300 people but because it is the rainy season there was only us and a group of drunk Chinese kids.

The band at the Reggae Pub was pretty freaking hilarious. It was made up of a group of five or so Thai guys playing American songs like Shaggy's, It Wasn’t Me, various Sublime songs and the always popular Will Smith’s, Getting Jiggy With it. Again, as in Chiang Mai, they didn’t completely know the lyrics to the songs, just mimicked the sounds. Crazy.

A lot of things in Thailand that mimic western or American things are like that, the same but not quite right. Cover songs by bands, even cover songs by Thais on bar CD players or pizza at an Italian restaurant, just not quite right. French fries are pretty on point though. Anyways, that’s how it is and you shouldn’t need that stuff over here anyways although sometimes it is good to get something familiar. Problem is you can’t get it even if you try. Just not quite right.

Eventually we moved on from the pub and headed back across the lagoon thing that divides the town and came upon a flea market or night bazaar. This was authentic Thai and I only saw a couple of other western people here. Vendors were selling various flea market goods like clothes and art things and food. Oh, also real crossbows.

As we were walking Kevin veered off and came back to me saying that he had found it… bugs for sale… that you eat. He had a bag in his hand of basically the sampler platter of the bug stands bug dining selection. Kevin started off by chomping a dragonfly on a stick. I personally enjoy eating new and interesting cuisines but couldn’t bring myself to eat a bug. After much convincing and and after learning Kevin’s technique, which is, "don’t think about it," I broke down and tried a nice juicy fried meal worm. It was kind of squishy as I chewed it and had an earthy flavor, sort of like a crispy mushroom in texture and taste with some Mansmiths or Pappies grillin' seasoning on it. I also tried a large cricket, about an inch long with legs included and Kevin finished off the night with a specially purchased, two inch long, biggest roach I have ever seen. When you eat a bug the wings aren’t that easy to swallow. They are sort of the last thing that remains in your mouth and you have to chew them for awhile.




That’s about it for last night, took a quick walk back to our room and passed out. Should be in Bangkok by tomorrow at 10:00 AM after we transfer to a night train in Surat Thani following this ferry.

November ?, 2008 – 12:20 PM – Khao San Road restaurant, BKK.

We are at the restaurant with the three dirty little kittens. One just got kicked by a suit dealer.

I have finished my pad thai and am waiting for Kevin to finish his fish burger. In Thailand they are not good at, or it doesn’t matter to them I guess, if your food comes out at the same time as the persons food who you are eating with. You get it when it is ready, you may even get your main course before your salad, etc.

Anyways, yesterday was a travel day and night by train and ferry up from Koh Samui. The train was really dirty and we got into BKK really early, 6:00 AM, didn’t get much sleep on the train so we went to a hotel near Khoa San Road, the New Siam II, and crashed for a couple of hours.

We actually don’t know the date today so depending on that we will either go see the royal palace or drink beers all day. Life is hard.

P.S. Not as many dogs here, more cats. Right now at the restaurant a little orange one is eating his puke next to our table.

November 11, 2008 – 10:37 AM – New Siam II.

It is breakfast time at the New Siam II. Both of us are not feeling so hot from last night but I think I am in a little better shape then Kevin. Khao San Road is a pretty crazy place to party.

Before I recap yesterday I have to mention that right now on my head is one of the worst haircuts I have ever had. I woke up early and got it at a massage parlor. I look like Kim Jung Ill. Somehow I will have to find a decent barber to fix this mess but finding quality in Thailand is hard to do. If I ask a cabby or a tuk tuk driver he'll take me to his uncle's shop or the place that gives him a kick back for taking me there. The haircut was only three dollars though so what should I expect, probably a haircut that looks like it cost three dollars.

Speaking of shady tuk tuk drivers… Kevin and I had planned on seeing the Royal Palace in Bangkok today so we walked across the central parade ground towards it. On the way there a guy came up to us and started making conversation. He said that he was a student at the university and started to give us some suggestions on sights that we should see while in town because the Palace was closed today. I was not suspicious because I had read in our trusty Rough Guides guidebook that Thai students enjoy talking to English speakers so that they can practice their English skills. I had also read about the scam that was about to go down on us but I had forgotten about it at the time.

Basically, without going into too much detail because it really wasn't that big of deal or waste of time, the guy suggested that we go see some sights and drew their locations on the map in our book. The last one he added was an apparently famous silk dealer.

Once we decided to go with our new friends suggestions instead of the Palace a tuk tuk conveniently rolled up and said it would take us to all the sights, A.K.A. wats, for only forty baht. After we had seen the first sight, a 150-year-old Buddha statue, our cabby asked us to wait in the tuk tuk while he used the bathroom. A Thai man conveniently hanging out at the spot the cabby parked started talking to us and asking how our vacation was going and said that when he visits Bangkok he always goes to the Armani factory store that sells Armani suits for cheap, just without the labels. At that point we realized that this ride was a scam and decided that if the driver took us to a few more sights and we had to say no to a few suit salesmen that it would still be alright, maybe worth it to see some things off the beaten path.

So in the end we saw a 150-year-old Buddha, an “Armani” store, a 100 foot tall Buddha and a jewelry store. Kevin bought some fine soaps.

After the tuk tuk tour we walked to a wat with a view of the city at sunset. It was called the Golden Mount. On the way there we saw a lady selling bugs again so we bought some. I have to say that they aren’t bad tasting. Of course I’d had a beer or two before eating them each time but not bad. I recommend the lemon grass ant trail mix.

Anyways, on the way to the wat we walked through a Thai street market/carnival with all the usual Thai eats, cold sausage on sticks sitting out in the elements, and also some pea shooter shooting ranges and a ferris wheel.

We walked up about 20 stories of stairs and got to the top of the Golden Mount Wat and saw a really nice view of Bangkok. People were praying and enjoying the view.
We caught a tuk tuk when we were done and choked our way through the exhaust fumes back to Khao San Road.

Back at Khao San Road we hit the bar and met two Scottish chicks, Daniel, a police officer, and Sarina, a Virgin Atlantic stewardess. We didn’t convert however. Got too drunk and couldn’t understand them through their accents by the end of the night. I went home and Kevin had a crazy adventure that you will have to ask him about.

Today we are going to try and make it to the Royal Palace again. We'll make it for sure this time.

November 11, 2008 – 3:00 PM – New Siam II.

We just got back from touring the Royal Palace. I almost couldn’t believe it but there was also a wat in there too. The Palace was pretty impressive. Tons of work must have gone into it and every building is very intricately detailed.

We saw and emerald Buddha that we can’t remember how old it was but it had been stolen and won back in wars with the Vietnamese. Take a look at the pictures, they’re cool.






Also checked out the Kings weapons arsenal. Lots of old guns like Colts and Lugers that were actually given to the King of Thailand by Samuel Colt himself and also some swords.

We walked back from the Palace down a side street through another authentic Thai market and I bought some Buddha statues for souvenirs. Two big Buddhas and two tiny ones. So, it may sound like there is not a lot to see in Thailand other than wats and markets and this is probably true. The wats are all very impressive to look at but you do start to get a little tired of them. We have also walked through a lot of markets but I haven’t gotten tired of them in the least because there are so many weird and interesting things for sale selling to look at. You can’t get bored.

We also watched the army practice for a princess’s funeral. That’s it, it was a good day, don’t know what we’ll do next.

SPECIAL BONUS SECTION: INTERESTING THAI CULTURAL OBSERVATIONS.

-At a restaurant if the waiter asks you if you are ready to order and you say that you are not, the waiter will stand and stare at you until you make a selection. No pressure, hurry!
-You always have to ask for your bill, always.
-Waiters also stare at you while you count your money for the bill. They stand and wait. This never happens in the US so you don't notice it but you will when you feel how awkward it is when it happens in Thailand.
-No paper towels to dry your hands in the bathrooms. When you do get a paper towel it is really small and disintegrates when you get a drop of water on it. Try blowing your nose.

-No flushing TP down toilets. That detachable dish sprayer that you have in your kitchen sink, exact same thing that you are supposed to wash your vital bits with here.

-No tipping… we think.
-Lots of old whities with Thai women.
-Same Same. What does that mean?
-Yellow shirts, we need one.
-Assorted animals are always around when you are eating, always.
-You bargain for everything here but we still manage to get ripped off.